Random Letters

Dear Weather,

Make up your mind!  You are making people crazy.  Seriously.  Your mere threat of a winter storm has sent people into a frenzy.

Not impressed,
Cole
*****

Dear Vikings,

My hubby is still upset about your loss.  How hard is it to hold on to the ball?  For the amount of money you get paid, I would glue the ball to my hands.  You might wanna practice the basics during the off-season.  Because if I have to listen to more rants about how Peterson can't hold on to the ball or how the offensive line isn't doing their job, I might throw the TV out the window.

Annoyed,
Cole
*****

Dear people who crowd me with their carts in the check-out line,

Back off!  Hitting me with your cart does not encourage me to pay any faster.  Actually, it makes me want to hit you but I just don't have the money to bail myself out so I try to refrain.  If you back away from the card machine, I might be able to sign my name and get out of your way faster.  Also, please keep your snotty nosed child from touching my stuff.  Thanks.

Trying to be civilized,
Cole
*****

Dear Baby Girl,

I know you can't control the snot coming out of your nose, but if you could at least try to not cough all over me I would appreciate it.

Love,
Mommy
*****

Dear Cold,

Please just be a cold.  I don't have time for a sinus infection.  And, if you could go away soon, that would be awesome!

Congested,
Cole
*****

Dear Homework and Housework,

Please get done by yourself.  I have a bit of a cold and just don't feel like dealing with you.  Plus, the craziness they show on Wife Swap is far more entertaining.

Lazily yours,
Cole
*****

Dear Johnny Depp,

I realize you are the same age as my parents, but I love you.  My infatuation is fairly new.  I'm sorry I did not appreciate your work much in my younger years.  But, I am older and wiser now.  Don't worry, hubby knows all about you.

Feeling like a teenager,
Cole
*****

Dear Tax Refund,

Please hurry yourself into our account.  I have big plans for you!

Excited,
Cole
*****