Friday, March 12, 2010

Dear Random People

Dear Girls in the Butt Crack Bearing Jeans,

I don't wanna see it.  Hike those babies up.  Please and thank you!


Dear Baby Girl,

Take a nap.  Now.  Please.  Mommy isn't begging, but simply asking nicely.  For the fiftieth time.  You are cranky and Mommy is getting that way.

Almost annoyed,

Dear Oldest Kiddo and Middle Kiddo,

Stay off of your baby sister's ride-on toys.  They weren't made for kids your weight.  I am serious when I say that you break, you buy.  Seriously.

Tired of saying it,

Dear Person Who Tried to Scam Me on Craigslist,

I was born last night, but it wasn't last night.  Not for one second do I believe that you are in Africa doing good and will send me the keys to your rental house just as soon as I wire you some money.  Isn't that scam a little old by now?  Really.  Get a new scam and maybe I'll fall for that one.

Smarter than the average bear,

Dear Universe,

I need a house to live in and a job in El Paso.  And, if it's not pushing it, could you drop off a winning lotto ticket at my front door too?  That would be totally awesome.  Thanks.

Tired of reading ads,


  1. Love the butt crack one! I actually just invented a product to cure that disease. It's called turtleneck underwear. And for those who are more daring, we also carry butt scarfs and butt ascotts. :)

  2. LOL!!! Turtleneck underwear. hehehhe

    I love your random letters! I did that the other day...I got the idea from you! Too funny!

  3. Ugh, I sat in the pediatricians office looking at some girl come in today that had a horrible muffin top. All I was thinking is....Honey, we try to HIDE that, not show it off. Seriously, her clothes were so tight they looked uncomfortable.

  4. Oh thank you for making me smile and saying things that I often think but never commit to paper!
    I chose to visit your blog because my personal blog (not listed on Lady Bloggers Society is about me trying to calm the chaos I live in!
    I'm also a SITSA;-D
    Looking forward to getting to know you better as I'm now a follower.

  5. Oh man! El Paso is SO FAR AWAY! We drove there from Tampa, FL for the Sun Bowl once and I about almost died on I-10 :) I wish I knew someone out there to hook you up, but I think the closest I know is Oklahoma City (aka far away) Also, don't make fun of all the crack bearing jeans...sometimes it's just because we USED to be skinny (I am going to Kohls to fix that, ugh...)

  6. I can't stand seeing butt cracks all the time. I also hate guys with jeans belted around their knees. Seriously. How are either of these styles remotely comfortable!

  7. I could've written most of these. I have to ask -- do the older children often bicker with your youngest over her toys? That happens way too often in my house.

    Good luck on the job front!

  8. The boys are 5 and 7 years older than Baby Girl, so they don't argue with her but they think her ride-on toys are awesome. They ride them down the hallway at speeds that even Olympic lugers would be jealous of!

    Cheryl--If you ever get brave enough to go to El Paso again, let me know! Since I'll be there and all, I can show ya where the good, bug-free Mexican food is, lol!

  9. Dear Cole,
    I totally agree with you on the butt crack stuff. PULL UP YOUR PANTS!
    Scammers are dirty rotton scoundrals! and the sad thing is people fall for it.
    Good luck finding a house!!

  10. Last time I was in El Paso, ALL the Mexican places were closed because of New Years :( It was a very depressing experience haha. We'll likely only be there if USF goes to the Sun Bowl keep an eye out!

  11. Stopping by from Lady Bloggers.

    I loved the first one. Are girls still doing that? So five years ago. Especially when their thongs are sticking out. Ew! I wish I had the nerve to run up and give them all atomic wedgies. (With gloves on, of course.)


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