Another Book Tossed From the Curriculum

**So, I totally had this little rant planned, then saw that my bloggy friend Cheryl posted about the same thing, so click here to go check out what she had to say too!

Parents are at it again.  In their quest to protect their children from all things bad, some parents at a school in California have managed to get the dictionary banned.  Yes, you read that right.  Apparently, the dictionary contains a definition for "oral sex".  I'll wait while you finish gasping...Oh, you might want to go ahead and gasp over some other words in the dictionary...shit, damn, breast, penis...

I can remember reading the dictionary when I was younger and giggling over a few words.  I'm pretty sure all kids do.  (Even these parents who have deemed it inappropriate for their children)  I turned out alright.  As a future English teacher, I'm concerned that at the rate parents are yanking books from schools I'm going to be left with nothing to teach.  I already know I can't teach about Harry Potter (kids might think they are wizards and attempt to fly broomsticks around campus) or any book that gives them any information about sex (well, Shakespeare is ok because the kids are too dense to get all those sex jokes, right).  Now I'm going to be left without a dictionary too.

What is it with parents?!  I mean, I am one but I still don't get it.  Sex is not a bad thing.  Teaching our children about sex and responsibility is not a bad thing.  Telling a kid that sex is shameful and something they shouldn't do is only going to accomplish two things: they're gonna do it and they're gonna lie about it.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not going to be encouraging my kids to run out and sex it up.  But I am going to encourage them to wait to experience the wonder of it until they are in a committed relationship with someone that they deeply care for.  In the end, our children are going to make their own decisions.  All we can do is give them the information and tools to help them and hope they make the right decisions for themselves.  Removing dictionaries from a classroom or prohibiting a book that talks about sex from a library is not going to stop a child from growing up.

Fairy Tales

This semester I am taking a course called "The Literary Fairy Tale". It is pretty interesting so far. Here's the thing though...since day 1, people have been arguing back and forth over whether or not fairy tales are detrimental to children. Some say the tales are just stories and not any big deal. Others say they are sexist and give children unrealistic expectations of life. This last group says that fairy tales teach girls that they must be submissive and pretty and that they teach boys that strong women are evil.

I grew up watching Disney movies. I loved Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. However, those stories (much like the books I read now) were my little escapes. I lost myself in the fairy tales, but when they were over I left those stories behind. I never dreamed of actually growing up to be a princess and marrying a prince with the help of a fairy god mother. I had serious dreams. I wanted to go to college. Yes, at 3 years old, I knew that. What I'm getting at is that I do not think that fairy tales gave me unrealistic expectations of life. I believe this is because my parents started very early in my life teaching me the difference between reality and fiction. (My favorite movie at 3 was Trading Places, so it was kind of important that I knew that distinction) Even now, my kids know that things in books, movies, etc aren't necessarily things you should do in real life. They are simply fun little escapes. I think the problem comes in for people when they fail to recognize the difference.

So, what do you guys think? Are fairy tales bad? Do you let your kiddos read/watch them?

It's Like Riding a Bike

Recently I was having a discussion with someone about parenting. I'm not sure what exactly we were talking about, but somehow the topic of teaching a child to ride a bike came up. Since then, I've given it some more thought and realized that the metaphor of teaching a child to ride a bike is just like parenting. When our children are young, we act as their training wheels. We allow them to do as much as they can, but prop them up when they need it. With our support, they learn the basics without falling. As they get older and are able to ride along fairly well, maybe we take off one training wheel. They still have our support, but are able to do a little more without us. Eventually, both training wheels are removed. The first few rides without the training wheels we run along behind them holding them up so they don't fall. But at some point we, as parents, must let go. We know that our child is probably going to fall. They might scrape a knee or bruise something, but we will be there to help them up. Finally, we let them go. When we let them go, we know that sometimes our children are going to fall. But, we also know that we'll be there encouraging them to pick themselves up and get back on the bike. Not always are we going to fix their scrapes. Sometimes, we will show them the medicine cabinet and let them do it themselves. Some days letting go is harder than others.


Update:

I'm so excited to announce that this post was chosen for Favorite Post Friday by 2 Toddlers and Me!!

Quick Observation

It was raining this afternoon when it was time to get the boys off of their buses. I grabbed my umbrella and crossed the street to the bus stop. As I got each one off the bus and walked them to our house, they ended up with more of the umbrella than I did. Needless to say, by the time I had gotten them both home, I was a little damp. I didn't really mind because my boys were dry.

So here's my observation...

You know you're a mommy when you give your kids the umbrella because as long as your child is dry you don't even notice the rain.

Something to Think About

Recently, my mom sent my an audiobook by Joe Montana called The Winning Spirit. He made an interesting observation in the introduction. It is something that I agree with completely. Montana pointed out that quite frequently the most recent generations of kids are being rewarded for simply showing up.

For example, every kid on every sports team gets a "participation" trophy. While I don't disagree that kids should be commended for following through on their committment to a team, I do not necessarily believe that they should all get trophies. I remember when I was growing up, we all wanted to win a trophy. Trophies were reserved for the members of the best team. This desire for a trophy ignited a fire within us to do our best, not just to show up. This is just one example of rewarding kids for simply showing up.

I think that kids should be urged to put forth their best effort. If they win, that is wonderful and they should be given some token to celebrate that. If they don't win, they still take away many lessons. I'm not sure what we are teaching our kids by rewarding them for simply showing up, but I'm fairly certain that it can't be good. Seeing our kids disappointed that they didn't get a trophy is far easier than it will be to see them as adults suffer when they lose jobs and other opportunities because they felt it good enough to show up and didn't bother to bring their best efforts along with them.

What to Expect

So, I don't have time right now, but later today (or within in the next few days, because there may be more than one blog idea in all this gibberish) here is what you just might read about on this here blog:

• I really didn't need a new gun, but thanks anyways babe...Or, why men shouldn't be left alone
• We need a nursing staff and a janitor around here...Or, how I spent my weekend...Or, the joy of sick children
• A fab report of all the books I've been reading/listening to lately...Or Stephanie Plum is the most hilarious female character I've read lately
• What are we teaching our kids...Or a generation that is rewarded simply for showing up
• For real, moving again? Would love to know where...
• And whatever else happens to pop into my pretty little head

Have a great morning and come back soon :)

Also, I am attempting to edit my layout, you know spice things up around here, so bare with me if things look a little funky. Hopefully, it will be beautiful before long!

The Art of Parenting

It strikes me that I spend so much time writing about my kiddos and parenting in my little blog here. I didn't actually plan this, but, hey, it's my blog and I'll do what I want. (Yes, I stomped my foot as I said that.) The truth is that I spend 90% of my time thinking about my kiddos and parenting so it makes sense that it comes out in my blog.

(FYI: The other 10% of my time is spent contemplating very deep questions such as "chocolate or vanilla?", "chocolate syrup or caramel?", and "Do I want a croissant with my coffee this morning?".)

I have often joked with my mom that the people at the hospital forgot to give me the manual that goes with my kids. Seriously, dishwashers come with users manual. Why don't kids? They are far more complicated than dishwashers. Here is the conclusion to which I have come: Raising kids is an art, not a science. Therefore, there is no manual. But if there were a manual, it would need to include chapters such as:

• Don't Give Sick Kids Milk (Unless You Like Cleaning up Curdled Milk at Midnight)
• How To Crawl Under a Rock When They Embarrass You (And it will happen)
• Multi-Tasking (Or the Fine Art of Making Dinner, Playing the Dot Game and Showering At the Same Time)
• Understanding Gibberish
• Tantrums 101 (Or What to do When Your Kid has Thrown Himself on the Floor of Whatever Store You Happen to be in Because You Said the Two Letter Word)
• Forget 4 Letter Words, The 2 Letter One is Worse
• Sibling Rivalry (Or He Breathed on Me)
• Traveling With Children (Why No One Does It)

This is by no means a complete list of chapters, but it would be a good start. I love parenthood!

RTT: Vocab Edition

It is that marvelous day of the week that we like to call Tuesday, martes if you are a Spanish speaker! And you know what that means...that's right, it is time for more of my randomness. So, sit back and enjoy...



**Being that I am currently taking my third semester of Spanish, shouldn't I at least be able to speak it?

**Did you know that the dictionary defines parenting as " the work or skill of a parent in raising a child or children"? I love that they recognize that it takes both work and skill to raise children but seem to imply (by the use of the word "or") that the parent only need possess either work ethic or some innate skill to accomplish the task. My definition reads "the work AND skill (plus a little bit of luck and the help of a freakin' village) of a parent in raising a productive adult".

**I love the word plethora and use it whenever the opportunity arises...sometimes I even create opportunities just so I can say the word plethora.

**My middle kiddo (he's 5) has recently added a new word to his vocabulary, aggravate. As in, "Mom, you aggravate me when you tell me to put down this stick that I'm running around with playing like it's a gun and will inevitably fall and poke my eye out with."

**I currently have a professor who constantly says the phrase "nonetheless, however" and it drives me almost as crazy as the civics teacher/football coach from high school who constantly said "and so on and so forth". Shake it up, people! Learn a new phrase!

**I think my baby girl's first word will be "whatevs" because she's just cool like that :)

**Um, I just realized that there was a box from my mommy (yes, I just called her my mommy) on my doorstep when I got home and I haven't opened it yet...so enough with the randomness!

I'm off to see what goodies my mommy sent me. Enjoy your random Tuesday dearies!

I've Lost Control...And That's Ok!

At one point in my life, I was a total control freak. I wore a watch, kept an immaculate day planner, and knew exactly what I would be doing at all moments. Yeah, those days are long past. You know what cured me of my controlling ways? Motherhood! Yep, popping out those darling little children of mine. I have come to accept the fact that there is no controlling them. I can corral them, but like goats they will just eat their way out. I can distract them, but that usually works as well as waving a red cape in front of a charging bull. So, I no longer wear a watch. We are generally late to everything and I don't need a watch mocking me with that fact. I no longer keep a day planner because I can't find it. And I never know what I'll be doing at any given time of the day.

But, oddly enough, none of this bothers me. I'm perfectly ok with the controlled chaos that is my life. I'd rather spontaneously walk to the park with my kiddos than sit in the house filling in all those days on some planner. John Lennon once wrote, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." Well, I lost my planner years ago, so I am always available to enjoy life as it happens and this beyond all else makes me happy.