What I've Learned

Oldest Kiddo is turning 9 this weekend!  Un-freakin-believable.  Anyways, I thought I would share a list of lessons I've learned during this little adventure called parenthood.  There are nine of them in honor of the kiddo...

Top 9 Parenting Lessons Learned

1.  Silence is golden...as long as the kid is supposed to be sleeping.  Any other time, silence is a sign that something not so fantastical is going down.  (Chocolate syrup and parm. cheese will be all over everything, a wall will have been turned into a mural, etc.)

2.  Kids only get sick in the middle of the night when you are sleeping soundly in your cozy bed.

3.  The ears of children produce some sort of special chemical that blocks the voice of their mother...unless, of course, she utters the words ice cream or candy. 

4.  I am mean.  Yep.  I never knew this until I had kids to tell me.  I always thought I was a nice person, but my kiddos cleared that one up for me.

5.  My parents were right.  All those times they told me that I would never understand until I had children of my own...yep, they were right.  I get it now.  (Shhh, don't tell them though.)

6.  No kid ever needs to potty until you are in a car that is fifty miles from the nearest rest stop.

7.  Kids do not come with volume buttons.  They come with a loud and louder setting.  And the louder setting will be used if they sense you are annoyed or have a headache.

8.  Those little suckers can smell fear or uncertainty.  Waiver for a minute and suddenly you are in the middle of the toy aisle saying yes to everything just so they don't use that louder setting again.

9.  Being a parent is the most frustrating, rewarding, gross, fabulous job ever.  I wouldn't trade any of those kiddos for anything.  Every time I see them learn something new or do something thoughtful for another person I forget all those moments when I wanted to pull my hair out and scream "I can't do this anymore".  It is wonderful.  I just wish I could slow it down a little bit.  9 years already!  Wow!